Setting Up Camp at the Edge of the Cliff

What do we do when we get to the edge of the cliff? Do we set up camp and rest?

Fear keeps us from leaping forward, yet our knowing keeps us from going back down the hill.

So we sit and set up camp at the edge of the cliff.

I was recently in a lively conversation with a friend who’s in that in-between state of listening to his inner knowing vs. listening to the personality-self desiring safety. Listening to him I had this vision of his situation. Knowing all to well he is not alone in this in-between state, this was a perfect blog post.

What I saw was his setting up a tent at the edge of a cliff and just sitting and resting. It’s a safe place. It’s that in-between place-a place of, oh no, what do I do now! Do I leap off the cliff knowing, trusting the net will appear or do I pack up my tent and head back down the mountain?

The reality is this place, this being on the edge of the cliff, IS the place where the next huge shift occurs. This, of course, can be terrifying if we don’t fully believe in our higher knowing, god self, what ever you choose to call it. It’s the place in our heart where we make the decision we must move ahead and take the risk that all will be well.

It’s the place where shift occurs!

The first time I experienced being on the edge I actually thought I was having a psychotic break. It was during my first silent meditation retreat. When I shared my experience with my teacher at the time, David Cooper, he said, “You went to the edge. Good for you.”

So that’s what going to the edge looks like! I was grateful I wasn’t really losing it.

It’s in that place we learn what our next step is. At that point we have the choice of turning around and going backwards (although I am not sure that’s possible) or continuing to move forward with grace and courage. It is the time we deepen our awareness and trust that we are indeed guided, loved and held by the Universe and others.

The key is to recognize this is the journey and to acknowledge what is coming up that might keep you resting on the edge of the cliff rather than trusting enough to take the leap!

We know this is a metaphor for trusting our highest knowing that we are all supported therefore the net will always appear…

Questions to ponder-

How do you feel when you reach a certain point in your life and are unsettled as to the next step? Go deep into inquiry and see where you get stuck in old fears or conditioning.

Do you trust your true self, your inner guidance, your soul knowing?

Are you aware of the places and spaces that keep you in abeyance?

Are you willing to be the best you can be?

Trust in self is the key that unlocks all doors.

Having the Courage to Love Yourself Enough

That is the first line in the book, Unlocking the Invisible Child!

What does it mean to have the courage to love yourself enough?

What does truly loving yourself unconditionally, without judgment or criticism, look like to you?

Do you have the courage to love yourself enough so you may love another?

When I began my healing journey it was about learning to love all of me-nothing left behind. For me, it meant loving and accepting my disfigured and disabled upper extremities. At the time, I had no awareness that deep emotional pain could source physical manifestation rather than the other way around. It’s the chicken and the egg story. Was I emotionally distraught, which led to physical illness? Or was the physical illness the cause of my emotional suffering. Many thanks to the scientific community, i.e. Dr. Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza and many more, which support the beliefs we carry, indeed alter our DNA. How was I to love myself when I felt so unacceptable?

What I remember the most was the profound shift that occurred when I became gentler, kinder, and more aware of how I hid-so afraid to be seen by others because I felt like damaged merchandise.

When I laid down my weapons and picked up my angel wings.

The willingness to open to the possibility of loving my hands, my arms, without judgment helped to relinquish the deep anger at ‘them’ for causing such immense pain and embarrassment for most of my life. I found that special place within where I was able to nurture me and grow to love my hands even in their disfigurement. 

I believed in my heart that if I could love my hands-they would love me back.

So that is precisely what I did! I would speak tenderly to my hands caressing them, loving them, as I visualized ‘them’ healed and whole, capable of doing what quote, unquote normal people did-everyday tasks like holding a glass with one hand, opening a door, a jar, holding onto things that I couldn’t do at the moment.

I allowed my heart to pave the road to what true healing really was. I consciously took it away from the physical and let my heart to do the work. 

I remember for my son’s bar mitzvah I was making chocolate basketball candies for the children’s gift bags and all the while I’m using my teeth to tie the ribbon together on top of the bag (because I did not have the dexterity/strength in my fingers) I started to laugh acknowledging how ridiculous, how abnormal this was! Yet, nothing could stop me from doing what I was doing, as difficult is it was.

That’s when I had an ‘aha’ moment.

My heart was guiding my hands.

The energy was flowing from my heart to my hands. This was the beginning of my heart healing. It never matter how dysfunctional or limited my hands were- I was living, consciously or unconsciously, in the heart energy. When I learned hands are in the heart chakra it became crystal clear just how powerful the hand-heart connection was.

In retrospect, my heart has always been in charge. The healing that occurred began with relinquishing my heart sadness and grief, the same grief, which manifested as a dis-ease in my hands.

Today, I never question how I look or if my hands will continue to gain strength etc. I never feel like damaged merchandise. I simply rest in the glow of my heart guidance.

Recently, I spoke to a woman, who after reading my book, stated her husband suffers from a similar physical dis-ease where he has lost muscle strength and control of his hands, sharing all he wants in this world is to be able to do something normal. Boy, do I understand.

I suggested she ask her husband what his heart wants. Take the energy away from the physical and go into the heart. That’s where the answers live.

The truth lies below the surface-deep within the soul.

In the healing work with my clients we journey to the source of the original pain to learn to love one self as a whole, not fractured, individual. You learn to love with grace and compassion for self and other.

We choose different ways to bring forth our soul pain and discomfort. I chose a physical dis-ease. Some choose co-dependencies of all kinds (addictions, eating disorders.)

Below are some questions you might want to ask yourself to help you identify what might be keeping you form loving yourself completely.

What part of you (physical, emotional, patterns of behavior) is difficult to love-accept-cherish?
Go deeper and identify the original source of your discomfort or dis-ease?
Are you willing to love all of you?
Are you willing to open to the grace of who you are?

When you reside in your heart-your heart will bring you unconditional love & acceptance.

That’s what it means to go to the heart-of-the-matter.

Upcoming events

I hope you are having an exciting summer.

In June I made the decision to follow my heart, pack my car, and drive “from sea to shining sea.” I have witnessed the magnificent terrain of our land driving along RT 70, and later 80, through the winding mountain passes of Colorado, played on salt lakes in Utah, relaxed in the beauty of Lake Tahoe, energized (and hiked) Mt Shasta and walked the beaches of California’s breathtaking seascapes. I have met lovely, spirited people every step of the way. Everyday I sit in gratitude for my courage to listen to my inner voice.

My heart is filled with joy and I’m delighted to share my adventures and learning with you as the months go on.

I wanted to send out a quick email to let you know of a couple of opportunities to hear me speak.

I am so excited to be a guest speaker at the MiracleMindFest TeleSummit 2013. Simone Salmon, founder of MiracleMindFest, has been the host to incredible spiritual practitioners sharing their extraordinary passion for creating miracles and consciously committing to a constant state of mindfulness. Their practical advice is easy to apply in your OWN Life! And the exciting news is that you’ll be able to listen to these amazing interviews for FREE!!

I am honored to be amongst so many illuminated and gifted authors, healers, and speakers. Please join me with host and visionary Simone Salmon Tuesday, August 20th, 8:00 p.m. EST. Included will be a promotional package to assist you on your journey to health and wellness. Click here to sign up and get more detailswww.miraclemindfest.com.

And on September 4th at 8:00 p.m. EST I will be hosting a FREE teleclass on

What it Means to Heal for Real™

Come explore what it means to show up and Heal for Real™
Do you know what your healing potential is?
Are you ready to find out what’s blocking you from attaining your highest potential?

Thankfully, after eighteen surgeries and forty years of dis-ease I HEALED my HEART which opened up space to HEAL my BODY, MIND and SOUL. Today I offer the wisdom and lessons I learned along the way to you with humility, gentleness and grace.

My greatest joy is to be of service to people like you on your healing journey. You do not have to do this alone! Healing is a process and a commitment. This teleclass will provide tools to empower you to step-up-to-the-plate and live a life of joy and wellness.

Through intuitive guidance and channeled messages, individually and collectively, we’ll begin to explore what healing looks like for you and jump-start your process of discovery and recovery.

Click here to find out all the details.

Again, both of the teleclasses are free and recordings will be available if you sign up and for whatever reason cannot make the class live.

If either of these events resonates with you I highly encourage to take the step and sign up. As they say, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

I look forward to connecting with you on the calls or however the universe brings us together.

Belonging

Be-long (intransitive verb) to be part of; be in the right place; be accepted somewhere, fit in, feel right

Be-long-ing (noun) feeling at home

I have been asking myself most of my life, “Where do I belong?”

As I step away from the place I’ve called home for almost three years, I wonder where the next stop will be. I trust spirit will guide me and all I am to do is stay wide open and listen to my inner truth.

Not surprising, I started this blog over a month ago before I set out on my journey driving across the country. My intent was to ‘show up’ in places along the way and simply feel into the energy of the land, listening to whether or not the energy resonated. I have been on the road for five weeks. I have driven from New Jersey to California spending time in Colorado, Utah, and northern CA. This week I am resting on the central coast in California before I head to Oakland and then to Santa Fe to visit my dear friend. It will be nice to be in a familiar, known place.

Based on how I felt in the energy of Mt. Shasta, I’ve decided to return for two months to start writing my second book. The energy of the mountain fed me. After that, who knows!

This brings me full circle to the title of this blog, belonging!

The question, “Where do I belong,” triggers feelings I had as a child when I read my favorite children’s book by P.D Eastman “Are You My Mother?” I loved, and still love, that story! For me, it’s a metaphor of my life. Seeking, seeking, seeking the truth! I was always searching for my mother/my home as a young child. Something in me knew I was a ‘mis-fit’ way before my mental mind received the message. My energy/soul/higher self always knew!

I’ve spent my life stepping in and out of places which felt like home and then my energy would shift and the ‘safe feeling’ of home would slip away! For most of my life I assumed I was alone in those feelings until I found comfort in a spiritual community in Accord, NY in my late forties. That’s when I realized how many like-minded people there where with similar expressions. Its seems diagnostic of what it means to ‘be spiritual.’

We must constantly shift energies just to keep up with our-selves!

Spiritual minded people tend to be esoteric in nature, seekers questioning everything! It is exhausting to those who do not share similar beliefs.

I have witnessed this longing to belong in people with high energy-the ones who beat to a different drum. You will recognize them immediately-they have a sparkle in their eyes and a passion for life that can never be squelched. They desire to change the world. Included in this grouping are the children/adults typically identified as bi-polar or ADHD. In new paradigm they may be referred to as Indigos. Whether society views them through spiritual eyes or within the medical box they tend to have one thing in common: an intrinsic sense that they are a mis-fit in society. I have spoken to so many adults between the ages of 18 and 40 who experience this.

Whether in school or with friends and family, they challenge old paradigm beliefs and values, searching for the like-minded to resonate with. They simply desire to belong-we all do!

Abraham Maslow the esteemed psychologist speaks to how important belonging needs are in his hierarchy of need theory in 1943 ( “A Theory of Human Motivation”.)

“After physiological and safety needs are fulfilled, the third level of human needs is interpersonal and involves feelings of belongingness. This need is especially strong in childhood and can override the need for safety as witnessed in children who cling to abusive parents.

According to Maslow, humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among their social groups, regardless if these groups are large or small. For example, some large social groups may include clubs, co-workers, religious groups, professional organizations, sports teams, and gangs. Some examples of small social connections include family members, intimate partners, mentors, colleagues, and confidants. Humans need to love and be loved – both sexually and non-sexually – by others.[2] Many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and clinical depression in the absence of this love or belonging element. This need for belonging may overcome the physiological and security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure.” 

As a woman with wisdom well into my fifties, I’ve learned home is where the heart is! I have been told my whole life that everywhere you go you bring yourself with you! I get that!

In holding that wisdom, my heart desires an external home where I may dwell amongst like-minded people, knowing my body-mind-soul resonates on every level. That is what this journey is all about for me. I wonder if it is for you too!

So I ask my readers, Do you feel you are a ‘mis-fit’ in society? Not a MISFIT but a MIS-FIT (simply you do not feel like you “fit”)

Have you found your home? Do you know where you belong?

These are challenging and important questions for all of us on the spiritual path!

I look forward to hearing your comments on this very deep and powerful topic.

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Dispelling the Legacy of a Father Long Gone

Are you aware of someone’s legacy you might be carrying?
Are there unresolved patterns you continue to recapitulate?

We grow up with fantasy, illusions and fairy tales that affect our ‘reality buttons.’ I guess I brought this fairy tale world to my own personal story as if it would give me a reason to believe.

I am sharing this very intimate revelation because it’s important to voice it.

My biological father died when I was 3 years old. At 58 I recognize fully how the yearning I carried for my deceased father has shaped my life. I’m also quite aware how residual fragments from this yearning born so long ago continue to show up in the men I encounter today.

My family never understood my longing for him as I continued to hold on tightly to his legacy. It was my way of keeping him alive and present in my life. I never question his character or what kind of man he was. Whether he was rich or poor, good or bad, heartbreaker or prince charming, the only thing that mattered was he was my biological father and he left me.

Because I held no judgment, I wouldn’t listen to anyone else judge him either. I had to believe, for my own well being, that he would have loved me if he were alive. So I gave him my heart.

I’ve said goodbye many times. Years ago I sat at his grave site and expressed the pain of his abandonment and my heartfelt yearning for him. Every time I looked in the mirror I saw him. Upon his grave I cried my eyes out letting him know that since he couldn’t hold me as a child I would sit on his lap now. I cried for all the losses, fantasies, and illusions my mind had conjured up.

Is that unconditional love or foolish illusion? I guess there’s a fine line between illusion and unconditional love. Alas, I am learning what that is.

In retrospect, I realize how easy it was to love him unconditionally. It was indeed a one-way street I made him bigger than life! The problem is that I brought that same sentiment to other men. This, of course, doesn’t work so well ‘in real life.’ Yes, It’s much more complicated to feed an illusion when the person is sitting right in front of you. But many of us try!

Every man I have known was subjected to my father’s legacy, including my son. I recognize the enormity of this acknowledgment. Up until now, most of the men in my life were unavailable in their own unique way, just as my father was. Yet, I stayed, and prayed, that someday they would show up and love me the way I required love.

Because I made my father so available in my mind I transferred the same pattern to the other men in my life. I convinced myself that they were available in reality when in fact what they said and who they were where not one and the same. Just more illusions! I have learned to let go and walk away. If what I desire is not what is standing in front of me I no longer hold on. No judgment, just knowing.

I’ll never know the truth of who my father was. I will never be able to look my father in the eye and know who he was in body, only in spirit. In the past, I would of given anything to look into his eyes to understand the pain, hold him gently and compassionately with love. It would of set both of us free.

I decided it was time to put his legacy to rest. When I drive to California in June I will visit Reno. My father was diagnosed at age 20 with cancer after serving in the US Air Force in the nuclear testing site in Nevada in the early 1950’s. It is there I will say good-bye. It is in that place I need to grieve, not at his grave, but the place that took his life away. It is there that I will thank him for this incredible learning that took place.

In the first chapter of my book I wrote, “I wanted to find the truth even if it killed me—and it almost did.”

The truth is not always what it appears to be. People are not always what they appear to be. It is our choice to hold onto illusions or see what really is! I’m grateful for this immense learning.

I am blessed to finally see the whole picture and dispel the illusion. Not only does it free me up, it frees my son and the partners I have known. Now I am ready to see everyone for who they really are! That’s huge!

That’s what dispelling illusions are all about.

Are you ready to dispel the illusions you hold onto to so you may move forward in awareness?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

When Love Hurts

The Buddhist tradition teaches us that pain is a human response and suffering is voluntary. I always liked that explanation. I’ve learned through my own healing process what that looks like. Years ago I made a conscious decision not to suffer. I always knew that I would experience pain as long as I am living in a human body. It’s suffering that is our choice.  Today as I witness traumatic events in my personal life and on a global and level, I always remind myself it’s my choice. In these situations the gift is to respond as a witness, not a victim. Many times it feels like a very fine line when the person is your parent, child or beloved who is in crises.

In the past few weeks I have witnessed unsettling events with the closest people in my life, my parents and my child.  At times I’ve surprised myself with my ability to stay grounded while coping with multiple stressors at the same time.

Everyday I thank God I had the courage to heal my woundedness because in the past I would have been crying or screaming, or both. Today, I stay in my compassion and understanding that this is about them not me. I stay in a place of grace and offer my support with boundaries and a sense of clarity I did not have in the past. I feel the strength within-guiding, holding, supporting me.

Love hurts. People we love go through traumas and dramas and we it is for us to remain centered while recognizing the drama unfolding around us. I liken it to a tornado that just spirals out of control as we remain in entrainment.

People who have had sessions or attended workshops with me know I strongly believe we can only change ourselves. It’s not our responsibility to change anyone else. That is my belief.  Often when we shift our consciousness those around us shift as well. It’s the energy thing-similar vibration etc. The reality is sometimes they don’t and that’s okay too. It’s their choice.The key is not to take it personally and to get out of your way and their way, energetically speaking. Loving and honoring someone doesn’t mean we go in and take over, it means we love unconditionally and honor their needs and desires.

 I sit in deep trust that what is happening is happening for a reason. 

I ask myself, “What is it I am to do and how am I to show up to assist them in their time of need?  I observe, if and when, I am being triggered and allow myself the space to become clear and realign.

I stay centered and balanced so I can show up for them.

My blessing and prayer for everyone who may be experiencing trauma or crises in their life or in the life of their loved you is to remember to stay centered, reside in your deepest knowing and trust you are being supported by the Universe. 

The Healing Potential

What is your healing potential?

Po-ten-tial (adjective) possible act as yet not actual. expressing possibility. (noun) capacity for development.

Does everyone have the potential to heal?  My answer is yes! yes! yes!

Everyone has the potential to heal as they are meant to in this lifetime. Healing might look very different from what you think so let go of the outcome and simply trust the process.

Recently I spoke with someone I have known my whole life who is quote, unquote, suffering in deep physical, spiritual and mental pain. I feel it! It’s palpable. He sits in a place of deep anger and betrayal from self and other. When I approach him with seeing through different eyes and being desirous of a better life he says he doesn’t know how.

In this particular conversation when we broached the topic of healing he said something I never heard before-he said in a rather loud and determined voice,

 ”I don’t have the switch to heal the way you did.”

 I heard him and felt his intention. Clearly this IS his belief system. This IS his statement to the Universe. I don’t have the switch to turn on and off that will heal me. That is quite a proclamation of intention. Either he carries deep within himself a belief that he has doesn’t have the power to affect change or he just wants to remain in pain and suffering. It’s a personal choice-every time.

I never thought of it as a switch! 

 We are the only ones that can make the decision to go from illness to wellness, from surviving to thriving. In that decision we consciously agree to relinquish old beliefs that no longer serve us. We trust we are able to rewrite the script and develop new beliefs-ones that are aligned with the truth of who we are.

I’m not sure about the switch idea. On a vibrational energetic level when I say those words I feel as if I am giving my power away! I know from my own experience it takes determination, patience, trust and perseverance. It takes just about every morsel of strength you have to muster up the energy and hold on. Most of all it takes loving yourself enough. It takes faith and surrendering to something bigger than you and it requires you to get out of your own way!

In order to change you must be open and make the commitment to step outside yourself while entertaining the vast arena of possibility. This person has made the choice to remain a victim and be in sorrow and uneasiness.

Let’s try something. For a few days trust you have the courage to step outside your-self. Be a witness to your actions and re-actions without judgment. You can only effect change when you become more reflective and aware of who you are. After a while you begin to sense a shifting within, slow and steady, which alerts you and your cells that change is occurring.

 It’s really not about switches, cures or even popping a pill. Nothing can magically take away deep sorrow, depression, insecurities and hopelessness. It’s about deep clearing and that takes time.

When I look back at my own life when I was deeply emerged in the medical world I desperately wanted a cure, a magic pill-anything to take my reality away. I approached every surgery with hope that this one will be different and set me free from my physical dis-ease. In my psychotherapy sessions I prayed the next deep insight would be the one to bring hope and joy into my life and make me a happier person. I wanted change. I wanted results. I wanted anything that promised to take away the dis-ease running havoc in my body mind and soul.

The most important thing I’ve learned  on my spiritual journey is it always comes from within………. Nothing ‘out there’ is going to do it for me. If, and when, my friend makes the decision to take control and change his world it will shift.

 It’s when the willingness to heal far out powers the need to stay stuck.

 Ask yourself,

Are you worthy of changing and reaching your greatest potential?

Are you willing to do the work?’

Moving On

“It’s amazing what we do when we live in survival mode–the continuous cycle of protecting oneself from perceived hurt and pain, only to recapitulate the same theme over and over again.”Unlocking the Invisible Child, Chapter 12~Moving On.

Moving on from survival mode requires a major amount of courage. When I first made a commitment to heal for real’ I laid in bed asking myself ‘what does healing really look like and am I capable of doing this? A second question that haunted me was more to the point. ‘What in God’s name am I going to do if/when I actually did heal?’

So programmed by a past belief system I wasn’t sure I even believed I had the power to transform my life. I hear the same cry from most of my clients today.

That was seven years ago. Today I’m convinced that healing is possible for anyone who has the courage to walk the talk and never quit. How and what we heal is completely up to us. It’s in our power to make the decision to heal. Trust people will show up in your life to support, challenge and encourage you along the way.

 The intrinsic desire to heal is often overshadowed by the fear to heal.

I totally get it! Taking the step to move on is huge.

Change occurs on a cellular level. Underlying belief patterns have to change or change will occur only in the mind-on an intellectual level, not cellular level. Protection from pain is a learned belief held deeply within our cells from childhood dramas and traumas. We hold onto them for safety until we truly believe we can effect change from within.

Isn’t it time to trust and empower ourselves, deeply knowing we all have the capacity to change just about anything we choose to change?

I believe this, do you?

Be still. Put your hands on your solar plexus (stomach) Rest in your core self. Breathe.

Ask yourself, “Am I recapitulating old belief patterns? Am I living life the way I choose or the life someone else prescribed for me? Am I living my authentic self?

Now for the most challenging question, “Am I ready to Move On and be the life I choose to live?”

For  inner work in this area check out UIC: A Healing Workshop. The workshop guides you to‘Drop Your Story~Create a New One,’ challenging you to do a deep excavation of your soul to discover and recover your authentic self.

May the gift of moving on open the door to opportunity and grace.

Is It Remission or Is It Cellular Healing?

Remission (noun):  slowing of disease, lessening of something, release from something

Healing (noun) process of curing or becoming well. (Adjective) curative

Not long ago I met a physician who read my book and felt adamantly that I was simply experiencing a remission-not healing. I’ve never been challenged before by anyone-even in the medical community. All I have heard is that I am a miracle and encouraged to keep doing whatever it is I am doing.

Without judgment his ‘belief system,’ one quite fixed in the scientific world, could only conclude that my healing was a remission of sorts, not transcendence, as I do.

The most powerful and affirming part of this interaction was ‘my response.’

I KNOW I’ve healed on a cellular level-not because I’m doing ‘physical tasks’ that I couldn’t do before, but because I AM no longer the same person. Everything has shifted in me.  I sit comfortably in that knowing.  My life depends on it!

For me, the most gratifying shift wasn’t witnessed in the physical, but rather the emotional-spiritual realm.

My heart is peace. My soul is flow. My being is grace.

I never get angry anymore-ever. I’m compassionate and gracious with everyone who comes across my path (including the people who were at the center of my grief and dis-ease.)

It’s all been transcended. How does that happen?

The answer is simple, yet complex, at the same time. I’ve learned to witness every event, large and small, without exception, as experiences showing up, a golden opportunity for continued growth and healing.  I am  sure about this.

Ask yourself, are you in peace? Do you believe in who you are? Do you allow others to challenge the ‘core knowing’ that resides so deeply within? It really is a choice. It’s our choice. Next time someone challenges you ask yourself, ‘what is being triggered that is making me re-act or respond this way?’  Listen to the answer. The answer will come from a place deep within. If it doesn’t go deeper until you receive the answer. Don’t settle for a superficial answer-that’s not where wisdom and strength reside. Trust your core.

The gift of this man, a medical doctor, was to challenge my conviction and my deepest knowing. No anger. No reaction. Just a simple thank you to the Universe for providing, once again, an opportunity for me to sit calmly and quietly in my knowing.

AMEN!

The Dance

My parents are both quite ill, one with cancer, one with a broken heart that manifests physically in many ways. Metaphysically it’s one and the same. I certainly understand that!

Over the past three months, I’ve witnessed my father’s physical healing while his desire for life continues to wax and wane. I’m not sure he even knows why he stays on this earth and plane. My father, who has been very ill for the  past seven years, was recently told by an expert in the field (physician) that he actually didn’t have the disease he was given years ago and proceeded to wean him off prednisone, one of his many medications.

This measure has proven helpful as it has restored his body back to “normal”- his legs no longer swollen with edema, the shape of his face no longer has the moon face appearance a well-known side effect of the drug. My father continues to have difficulty breathing and requires a huge amount of energy expenditure to complete the simplest of tasks. I’ve also been a witness to my father’s level of indifference in caring for his heart and soul. This makes my heart sad.

On the other hand, my mother continues to fight for her life. With her cancer out  of remission, she sits clueless as to her next step, following the doctor’s words to a tee knowing her “life” depends on their knowledge.  My mother is “waiting” for the medical world to tell her what will be. She is exhausted.

My mother who doesn’t believe in metaphysical, spiritual or energy healings has handed her life over to her doctors. My father is simply surviving his existence.

The hardest part is observing their inability to support one another in the journey. The anger and disappointment on both sides grows deeper with each passing day. This level of stress is harmful for anyone, especially those withimmune system vulnerability. I also understand this is who they are and, clearly, this is their karma. I fully and completely accept this

I know there’s nothing I can do for them but show up with unconditional love and  acceptance. This is how I show up.

As a healer, I witness this dynamic often. The incredible push-pull of those residing in hopelessness, disempowerment and fear. Many people are at a choice point in their lives feeling lost and unsure of how to empower themselves to step fully into the life they desire. They quietly ask themselves, “Is my life worth living or not? Am I worth living? What can I do?”

This might be a good time to ask yourself, “Is there something more I can be doing to find my inner peace? Am I doing all I can do or does my fear and anger continue to get in the way?”

I once had a wooden plaque in my house that said, 

“It’s never too late to mend”

I needed that reminder years ago. Yes, it is never too late to mend the heart and soul.

I believe true healing resides in the heart’s acceptance of self, which brings inner peace. It’s a deep knowing that you’ve done everything you came in to do in this lifetime: the resolution of your karma, the quieting of your mind.

Healing doesn’t necessarily mean relinquishing the physical manifestation, it means healing the tender of the soul for peaceful resolution so you may move on.

Wisdom Gained

 have rewritten my story. I share this inspirational gift with anyone desiring change.

“When you love yourself enough you open widely to your greatest potential and begin to heal any form of dis-ease your body, mind or spirit may be holding.”

I learned healing is a process of releasing old messages stored in my DNA and what it means to have the courage to love myself enough and trust that I deserved a better life, a healthier existence. That’s when my entire body started to shift into wellness. Mostly, I learned to “let go” and follow my inner guidance. In doing so I allowed my heart to be guided by intuition and grace, not by my mind/ego, which were, for the most part, driven by fear. I was slowly and steadily unlocking myself from the only existence I had known and began to vision a new life, filled with joy and acceptance.”

I identified the energetic root of my dis-ease and realized if my heart healed my body would healas well.  I learned the incredible power of words and how we receive exactly what we ask for. I learned everything in life offers us the opportunity to grow. Most importantly, I learned that by seeing through softer eyes there was longer no room for anger.

I learned to trust you in the power to make choice and how to be the co-creator of my own destiny. You can remain locked in old story, trapped in past belief patterns/behaviors that no longer serve you, or you can create a new story-one that resonates with your authentic self. It’s about saying yes to your desires, your higher self.

I learned that forgiveness + compassion = healing. When we forgive ourselves, and others, we heal the hurt and discomfort that lies dormant in our cellular makeup.

I learned to drop my weapons and pick up my angel wings. When we are compassion and grace we attract the same. Healing is based in the heart, not the mind.

As a result of my learning, I have completely transcended the dis-ease and live each day in joy and gratitude.     “If I can heal-anyone can heal.”

  Be your hearts desire and live your soul purpose.

Wisdom with Wrinkles

Do you ever wonder why so much importance is placed on the way we look rather than who we are? Why is everyone trying to look young again? What are we truly seeking?

Recently I was listening to a television talk show and the guest shared how she was in therapy because she wanted to have wisdom with her wrinkles. I thought that was wonderful.

We live in a culture that bombards us with how important our looks are and gives us every possible opportunity to maintain/gain a youthful presence. Women especially have a plethora of remedies, which promises to give us back that youthful appearance though face-lifts, injections, makeup, diet and excess exercising, tummy tucks and so on! All this promotion to make us believe that if we looked young we would have a better life! How brilliant is that!

My question is, “What is so important about looking young? What are we so afraid of? Why have we allowed our culture to dictate how we relate to our own bodies as reflected in the media? Please don’t misunderstand me; I am not suggesting we don’t take care of our selves through diet and exercise and what ever else feeds our body, mind and spirit! I am speaking to the desperate clinging to our youth as if aging is unacceptable. Why have we accepted that dogma?

Our children grow up with this message and are trying so hard to fit in by looking/being like someone else. Children grow up not knowing how to love and accept themselves for who they are. Like earlier generations, they have learned to look outside of themselves for quick fixes, easy solutions, and temporary cures to eradicate their uneasiness—so much that there is an epidemic of young adults altering their bodies through plastic surgery and their minds through drugs and alcohol to cope with their fear of not being seen.

Children who feel seen rarely resort to such measures.

Our society teaches us to look outside ourselves for the solution, for the ‘right’ answer. Don’t we know the answers are always within!

Aren’t we made in the image of God? Isn’t that enough!

My question to you is “What is so bad about having wrinkles?” In Native American, as in many indigenous cultures, wrinkles and aging are a symbol of wisdom and strength. Why does our culture make aging so disagreeable?

Aging can be a beautiful thing. So many do not have the opportunity to live long and healthy lives. Children and adults die everyday from disease and trauma. What keeps us from living in joy because we’re alive and well? Why do we seek gimmicks and false bravado?

And maybe, just maybe, this is my own challenge due to my personal history and what I had to endure physically! I’ve never wanted to alter “me” because I am grateful to be alive and aging!! I never thought I would be alive past forty.

What I learned in my healing journey was that any alterations must be done on the inside not the outside. In fact that was my healing!! After 18 surgical procedures, and feeling like the bionic woman, I’m the last person on earth with a desire to alter anything externally!!

By traveling within and gaining wisdom, I feel younger than I ever have. I personally believe that staying gorgeous and attractive is more about letting go of unnecessary baggage and lightening up the load rather than a tummy tuck or face-lift!

I also recognize that having a soul-lift is more involved and takes a lot more courage, commitment and desire. It is not the easy fix for sure. What it is though is the restoration of body, mind and spirit so you can feel like a youthful, joyful child, maybe for the first time in your life. Who needs external alterations when you feel like that? That’s when you fit perfectly inside you!!

I am blessed to have gained enough wisdom to honor my wrinkles!

Exercise: Look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see the sparkle in your eyes reflecting your soul’s knowing OR do you cringe and judge the wrinkles and age spots, which may appear, on your face? Be gentle with yourself and see the beauty that radiates from within! Spend a moment or two and honestly reflect on your answer. It is quite telling!

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Is it Really the Quantum Field?

What happens when we meet someone and instantly the connection is so intense it feels as if we have known each other for lifetimes? It feels easy, so right. Your share your deepest thoughts and everything else seems to stop as you step into an amazing flow of grace. You relate to one another as mirrors. You feel loved and safe. Your words and feelings are strong. Can this be real?

For those of us connected to the spiritual world we believe we meet our beloved friends and partners in the quantum field. Where else would we meet someone? Isn’t that where high vibrational people meet? I have been told for years I will meet my beloved in the quantum field-there is nothing I have to do-just continue to show up, do my work and he will find me.

As sweet as that might seem we must always ask ourselves, “Is the relationship grounded in reality?” If it is not, than it’s not real.

So how do we know the difference?

Let me pass along a story that someone shared with me. This person recently met a man who believed immediately that he was her beloved partner and they were meant to be together. He was a scientist, a teacher, and by anyone standards, a very grounded human being. She was a very spiritually awake woman. The intensity was high and promises were made. The ease and grace in which they related felt real. It was exciting but it didn’t take long for the ball to drop.

I sit here and wonder, what are the red flags in this thinking or belief system? How can we stay open while staying in discernment? As high vibrational people we are accustomed to being awestruck by the beautiful souls we meet. We attract that to us.

My answer to this is stay grounded. Keep your feet planted securely on the ground. If it is real-it will remain in grace and flow. If it requires any amount of pushing or pulling your personality is getting the better of you.

Stay awake and aware. Trust the deepest part of you. You are your most sacred teacher and guide.

Unlocking the Fear of a Medical Diagnosis

Have you recently been diagnosed with a medical dis-ease?  My work involves going to the root of the physical issue while empowering you to stay in your strength and courage.

           I am a woman who, through trust in inner sources of love and acceptance, has transcended a crippling and supposedly fatal disease to achieve complete health and wholeness. Throughout most of my life, I suffered from Anterior Horn Cell disease, a progressive, degenerative neurological condition originating in the gray matter of the spinal cord, which doctors told me would leave me completely crippled by age twenty-five and end my life by forty. Physically, this meant I was locked inside a body slowly collapsing inward, losing muscle mass in my arms and pulling the tendons of my hands into the shape of claws. After eighteen surgeries, I made a decision to step out of the medical box and awaken my spirituality as well as explore alternative healing modalities. I was guided through that experience by remarkable teachers/healers. I understood the possibility of healing lies in the psyche and takes root where disunion between mind and body ceases to exist. Many others who face physical challenges stemming from emotional injury, as I did, might recognize themselves in my story.

Today at the age of fifty-seven I share my healing gifts with others who choose to view their dis-ease with courage and tenacity-not fear and withdrawal.  The dictum I received at the age of fifteen was met without challenge at the time. My neurologist told me to keep my chin upbecause there was nothing else he could offer me. The medical professionals insisted I give up all physical activity for fear of making my condition worse than it was. I listened to them because they were the experts. I listened until I was so tired of listening. It was at the age of thirty-eight I decided to take matters into my own hands.

After twenty-three years I got back on a bicycle, learned to ski and started taking yoga classes. I learned to compensate and adapt the activity to my debilitating dis-ease. I couldn’t grip the poles while skiing so I skied without poles. I had a twenty-one speed bike adapted to my needs by having the chancing gears on the left side where I had some semblance of a grasp. I learned to do downward facing dog with my wrists in flexion, not extension, as the position suggests. I did what I could because I was tired of feeling like damaged merchandise.

And that is only the beginning of the story.

Showing Up

Ask yourself this very important question, “Am I an active participant in my own healing process?” Do I expect, desire, pray someone else will find the answers for me? Is it my choice to evolve into fullness or someone else’s? Who decides who and what I am to be? This does not mean we don’t seek council, support, guidance-it simply means we don’t expect someone else to do our work. Are you willing to take this responsibility upon yourself and show up?

Many of us continue to carry around limiting belief patterns that we received in our childhood, our youth, keeping us from moving ahead, taking the leap of faith in true knowing we can be something other than how we were scripted to be. It’s our choice.

What are the limited beliefs you still carry? How do they serve you in your ongoing process/spiritual evolution?  Bruce Lipton, Ph.D, speaks to this when he states, “change your beliefs, change your biology.”

Simply place your hands on your solar plexus(stomach region.) Take a dep breath and release. Ask yourself, “Where am I holding pain, guilt, shame, sadness.” See what comes up. Give yourself permission to feel, feel, feel your re-action. This is deep cathartic work if you allow it to be. The more you allow to surface-the more you will release.

Once we identify what our limiting belief patterns are we can then see it as a grand opportunity to work through it. We then  choose to  “do the work” required to evolve and develop new belief patterns that serve us NOW.  These limiting beliefs are stuck in our cellular make-up. It’s time to remove all obstacles in our  way and step into our highest potential. That’s showing up!

Moment of Illumination

I have been graced with many moments of illumination in my life where wisdom was bestowed upon me and my life changed for the better.

There is one moment that stands above all others.  This moment changed the course of my life forever. For thirty-eight years I had been suffering from a progressive degenerative neurological disease that left me with very little ability to use either of my hands. I was literally hanging on for dear life. Because of this I eventually had to leave behind a 23-year career as an occupational therapist. I became involved in Jewish Renewal, which fed my heart and soul. This brought me hope, joy and a new meaning to God and spirituality.

During one of my many retreats I met someone who opened the door to the metaphysical world of energetic healing. Ten days prior to my 5oth birthday I had a three-hour reading over the phone with a shaman in Colorado. It was as if I handed her an autobiography and MRI. She just knew me. She told me at the end of session that I would heal completely and that I had a lot of teaching to share in his world.

It was on that day that I said yes to the universe. That was the day I knew that I was a co-creator in my destiny. It was on that day that I announced to God that I was done being ill, “either I heal or I am out of here”.  Maria’s reading gave me the courage to heal for real. God heard my plea. From that day forward, healers would find me, almost drop in my lap to assist me on my journey towards wholeness. It has been almost five years since that day and I am healthier and stronger than I have ever been in my life. I am a miracle and I sit in total gratitude that I have been able to witness the joy of healing.

I know that God will always be at my side, gently encouraging me to say yes, to live in my higher self and to fulfill my life’s purpose. I know I am blessed.  Today it brings me great joy to share my healing with others who have the courage to say yes and be free of any form of dis-ease, be it physical, emotional or spiritual.

Are you ready to open to the Universe and be aligned with your true mission?

Healing: A Metaphysical Experience

Healing was a metaphysical experience for me. After 18 surgeries and 40 years of carrying a medical diagnosis I stepped into the realm of metaphysics and spirituality. I had exhausted the medical field. There was nothing more “they” could do. The greatest shift happened when my hand surgeon advised me to stop working as an occupational therapist and I entered the dark night of the soul. It was the most difficult decision I had to make. I needed my work. It helped me to feel whole and productive. It always brings a smile to my face when I think, in retrospect, how strange it was that I was guided into a field that uses hands as the primary modality of healing.  I did not have very functional hands at the time and yet I practiced OT for almost 25 years. It wasn’t easy.

Today it all makes sense.

When I stepped outside the box and started to engage in metaphysics and energy healing I began to learn about the higher self, spirit guides and angels.

I was a clinician. I hadn’t a clue what energy, metaphysics, alternative healing was about or how it would help me on my path. All I knew was I made a decision to open fully and completely and trust it was showing up for a reason. I felt driven to understand this higher realm and soon I realized I had been guided by this energy all along.  I began to acknowledge there was a purpose to all the suffering I had endured. This gave me hope. The readers and healers I met along the path encouraged me to believe in myself and trust there was a higher purpose.

I listened. I allowed. I became more aware of everything around me. I began to feel the energy shifts in me. I started to decode the messages. I listened and learned how to love that small voice deep within.

These messages brought me hope that change and healing was possible as well as a deep understanding of the importance the dis-ease played in the larger picture. This is what eventually allowed me to step fully into my life’s purpose.

Today, I recognize the dis-ease did indeed give me the courage to survive, and then later, thrive. Today, I sit with gratitude for these experiences which led me to show up in my life as I am today, fully seen, fully heard and fully present. That’s a gift.

Trust is the Name of the Game

I am a woman who, through trust in inner sources of love and acceptance, has transcended a crippling and supposedly fatal disease to achieve complete health and wholeness. Throughout most of my life, I suffered from Anterior Horn Cell disease, a progressive, degenerative neurological condition originating in the gray matter of the spinal cord, which doctors told me would leave me completely crippled by age twenty-five and end my life by forty. Physically, this meant I was locked inside a body slowly collapsing inward, losing muscle mass in my arms and pulling the tendons of my hands into the shape of claws. After eighteen surgeries, I made a decision to step out of the medical box and explore energetic healing modalities. I was guided through that experience by remarkable healers. I understood the possibility of healing lies in the psyche and takes root where disunion between mind and body ceases to exist. Many others who face physical challenges stemming from emotional injury, as I did, might recognize themselves in my story.

One of my initial healing experiences was with Jon, who became a healer refusing to believe doctors who predicted he would be a paraplegic following an accident, and who healed himself through the practice of Qigong, a powerful Chinese system of energy medicine. He told me that my spine looked like a train wreck. Apparently I had suffered an injury to my brain when I was around five years old, which was likely the cause of the ongoing problems with my hands. My first healing session with him ultimately led to me to believe that the disease located in my spinal cord wasn’t what the doctors had said it was. And rather, it had to do with deep-seated issues of abandonment and fear. And the healing messages were clear: as I healed my soul, I would heal the phenomenon with me that had caused my hands to shut down. Jon also told me that I would not only heal but I would bring healing to others.

At the beginning of our next session, Jon asked me what I wanted to do in my life. He suggested I keep the door open to all opportunities, even those I hadn’t considered. After the session he asked me a great question: “What are you going to do to open the door?  Let the universe know you want to serve others, and it will happen. Just open the door, and stop trying to figure everything out rationally. In other words, get out of your head.”

(Excerpt from Unlocking the Invisible Child: A Journey from Heartbreak to Bliss by Laura Mayer, copyright 2012)

Re-Writing Your Story

Does your original story fit you? Are you ready to re-define yourself and show up the way you want to-not in the way society, parents, teachers, etc want you to? Do you have the courage to open to the truth without judgment, hold the wisdom, balance, and passion necessary to get to the core of it all? Only then can you melt away the years of untold stories, untold pain, and let the fire inside reignite, using the energy to propel you forward one step at a time so you may live the life you so desire. This process isn’t easy-but it’s real.

What does YOUR truth look like? Ask yourself, “Who am I? What do I want?” Can you identify the qualities that make you shine, bring you joy?

Everyday I am a witness to people’s struggle in letting go of the old and allowing space for the new. It’s about having the courage and patience to re-define who you are.

Everyone has the capability to do this.

If you are not comfortable living the story you’ve been living up to now than you are ready to re-write it? We all have a story-it starts at birth. When we feel the separation from our authentic self we know intuitively it’s time to drop the old. Give yourself the permission to take a healing journey within. Be still-intuitively tap in and identify who you are and what’s keeping you stuck. I know all too well it’s never to late to be the person you want to be.
Most of all enjoy the journey. It’s a journey to freedom.

For additional information on this subject see my new workshop Unlocking the Invisible Child A Healing Workshop.

It’s All About Trust

Occasionally I still wonder what will really happen in my life? Will I really get what I so desire and know that I deserve. I guess we all go through ”human” doubt. Yes, we are human-no mater how spiritual we are –we are still human. That is the doubt that gets in the way.  So for me it always gets back to the issue of trust-trusting in something bigger than myself that is propelling me forward.

It is about the “knowing” that I am aligned with my higher purpose. That always centers and grounds me.  I remember having a discussion with my 21-year-old son who said so clearly that he knew exactly what his mission was and if he couldn’t do that he didn’t need to be alive.

I was surprised yet completely understood. When you become clear with what your life purpose is nothing can hold you back. That doesn’t suggest it will be easy-but you will be propelled forward on your path by the energy.

So what if you don’t know your higher purpose? That’s okay too. Trust if you open to the universe and ask you WILL get a response.