That is the first line in the book, Unlocking the Invisible Child!

What does it mean to have the courage to love yourself enough?

What does truly loving yourself unconditionally, without judgment or criticism, look like to you?

Do you have the courage to love yourself enough so you may love another?

When I began my healing journey it was about learning to love all of me-nothing left behind. For me, it meant loving and accepting my disfigured and disabled upper extremities. At the time, I had no awareness that deep emotional pain could source physical manifestation rather than the other way around. It’s the chicken and the egg story. Was I emotionally distraught, which led to physical illness? Or was the physical illness the cause of my emotional suffering. Many thanks to the scientific community, i.e. Dr. Bruce Lipton, Joe Dispenza and many more, which support the beliefs we carry, indeed alter our DNA. How was I to love myself when I felt so unacceptable?

What I remember the most was the profound shift that occurred when I became gentler, kinder, and more aware of how I hid-so afraid to be seen by others because I felt like damaged merchandise.

When I laid down my weapons and picked up my angel wings.

The willingness to open to the possibility of loving my hands, my arms, without judgment helped to relinquish the deep anger at ‘them’ for causing such immense pain and embarrassment for most of my life. I found that special place within where I was able to nurture me and grow to love my hands even in their disfigurement. 

I believed in my heart that if I could love my hands-they would love me back.

So that is precisely what I did! I would speak tenderly to my hands caressing them, loving them, as I visualized ‘them’ healed and whole, capable of doing what quote, unquote normal people did-everyday tasks like holding a glass with one hand, opening a door, a jar, holding onto things that I couldn’t do at the moment.

I allowed my heart to pave the road to what true healing really was. I consciously took it away from the physical and let my heart to do the work. 

I remember for my son’s bar mitzvah I was making chocolate basketball candies for the children’s gift bags and all the while I’m using my teeth to tie the ribbon together on top of the bag (because I did not have the dexterity/strength in my fingers) I started to laugh acknowledging how ridiculous, how abnormal this was! Yet, nothing could stop me from doing what I was doing, as difficult is it was.

That’s when I had an ‘aha’ moment.

My heart was guiding my hands.

The energy was flowing from my heart to my hands. This was the beginning of my heart healing. It never matter how dysfunctional or limited my hands were- I was living, consciously or unconsciously, in the heart energy. When I learned hands are in the heart chakra it became crystal clear just how powerful the hand-heart connection was.

In retrospect, my heart has always been in charge. The healing that occurred began with relinquishing my heart sadness and grief, the same grief, which manifested as a dis-ease in my hands.

Today, I never question how I look or if my hands will continue to gain strength etc. I never feel like damaged merchandise. I simply rest in the glow of my heart guidance.

Recently, I spoke to a woman, who after reading my book, stated her husband suffers from a similar physical dis-ease where he has lost muscle strength and control of his hands, sharing all he wants in this world is to be able to do something normal. Boy, do I understand.

I suggested she ask her husband what his heart wants. Take the energy away from the physical and go into the heart. That’s where the answers live.

The truth lies below the surface-deep within the soul.

In the healing work with my clients we journey to the source of the original pain to learn to love one self as a whole, not fractured, individual. You learn to love with grace and compassion for self and other.

We choose different ways to bring forth our soul pain and discomfort. I chose a physical dis-ease. Some choose co-dependencies of all kinds (addictions, eating disorders.)

Below are some questions you might want to ask yourself to help you identify what might be keeping you form loving yourself completely.

What part of you (physical, emotional, patterns of behavior) is difficult to love-accept-cherish?
Go deeper and identify the original source of your discomfort or dis-ease?
Are you willing to love all of you?
Are you willing to open to the grace of who you are?

When you reside in your heart-your heart will bring you unconditional love & acceptance.

That’s what it means to go to the heart-of-the-matter.

Comment