Once again I was given an amazing opportunity to transmute the energy of suffering into joy and gratitude.
At the age of twenty-five my thumbs became paralyzed. As part of reconstructive hand surgeries, thirteen years ago my surgeon placed a wire in the second joint of my right thumb, fusing the bone, stabilizing my finger into a position which would allow me to have a better “grip” while using a pencil or fork.
Over the past few years I’ve had a bump on the incision line. At first it wasn’t painful and physicians thought it was a cyst or a wart and three times I had the bump removed only to resurface again.
In the past year as it became increasingly painful and irritating, I knew it was time to take it to the next step. For me this was not a coincidence. I put the pieces together.
My personal belief was that the wire, deeply embedded, holding my thumb in a locked position, was asking to be set free from any external/internal binding. Further more, on an etheric level, I believe I am asking the Universe for clearance of any restriction in my thumb so it’s given the opportunity to move naturally.
With this belief in place, I visited my hand surgeon who confirmed through an x-ray that the wire was directly below the site and causing irritation. With the assistance of his colleague in Northern Virginia, I was able to make an appointment to have the wire removed.
Last Wednesday my friend drove me to the hospital to have the wire removed. The hand surgeon said the knot in the wire had broken off thus causing the problem. Bingo! The wire is now removed.
This is not why I wanted to blog this experience. All of the above was simply to provide background information. What I would like to do is share the emotional process for me.
I arrived at the hospital for the procedure- an environment very familiar to me. I put on the gown and the blue cap on my head and laid there for an hour before they rolled me into the OR. Doctors and nurses come by, ask questions, and left me alone to rest. I lay there as memories danced inside my head. I actually traveled back to my very first experience in the operating room- 1971- as the loneliness and fear I felt then bubbled to the surface. This time I was light and joyful and having fun looking at the changes in the hospital gown itself.
At that moment I recognized the choice I had-to suffer or not to suffer. Now this has nothing to do with actual pain. Of course it would be painful-the doctor was digging into my bone and removing a foreign object.
Suffering is so different from pain. That day it became apparent to me how for so long I had been attached to the suffering and stories of my past. It was an illuminating moment for me. I honored myself for the stories I needed to hold onto then and acknowledged how I transcended that energy as a result of my healing.
I felt blessed and full of gratitude that I was given another opportunity to witness the old vibrational pattern and embrace the new. No stories, no feeling sorry for myself, no need for attention.-just the relatively simple removal of what no longer serves me (the wire) and move on with my life. Simple and sweet.
An hour later I left the recovery room with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.