Be-long (intransitive verb) to be part of; be in the right place; be accepted somewhere, fit in, feel right
Be-long-ing (noun) feeling at home
I have been asking myself most of my life, “Where do I belong?”
As I step away from the place I’ve called home for almost three years, I wonder where the next stop will be. I trust spirit will guide me and all I am to do is stay wide open and listen to my inner truth.
Not surprising, I started this blog over a month ago before I set out on my journey driving across the country. My intent was to ‘show up’ in places along the way and simply feel into the energy of the land, listening to whether or not the energy resonated. I have been on the road for five weeks. I have driven from New Jersey to California spending time in Colorado, Utah, and northern CA. This week I am resting on the central coast in California before I head to Oakland and then to Santa Fe to visit my dear friend. It will be nice to be in a familiar, known place.
Based on how I felt in the energy of Mt. Shasta, I’ve decided to return for two months to start writing my second book. The energy of the mountain fed me. After that, who knows!
This brings me full circle to the title of this blog, belonging!
The question, “Where do I belong,” triggers feelings I had as a child when I read my favorite children’s book by P.D Eastman “Are You My Mother?” I loved, and still love, that story! For me, it’s a metaphor of my life. Seeking, seeking, seeking the truth! I was always searching for my mother/my home as a young child. Something in me knew I was a ‘mis-fit’ way before my mental mind received the message. My energy/soul/higher self always knew!
I’ve spent my life stepping in and out of places which felt like home and then my energy would shift and the ‘safe feeling’ of home would slip away! For most of my life I assumed I was alone in those feelings until I found comfort in a spiritual community in Accord, NY in my late forties. That’s when I realized how many like-minded people there where with similar expressions. Its seems diagnostic of what it means to ‘be spiritual.’
We must constantly shift energies just to keep up with our-selves!
Spiritual minded people tend to be esoteric in nature, seekers questioning everything! It is exhausting to those who do not share similar beliefs.
I have witnessed this longing to belong in people with high energy-the ones who beat to a different drum. You will recognize them immediately-they have a sparkle in their eyes and a passion for life that can never be squelched. They desire to change the world. Included in this grouping are the children/adults typically identified as bi-polar or ADHD. In new paradigm they may be referred to as Indigos. Whether society views them through spiritual eyes or within the medical box they tend to have one thing in common: an intrinsic sense that they are a mis-fit in society. I have spoken to so many adults between the ages of 18 and 40 who experience this.
Whether in school or with friends and family, they challenge old paradigm beliefs and values, searching for the like-minded to resonate with. They simply desire to belong-we all do!
Abraham Maslow the esteemed psychologist speaks to how important belonging needs are in his hierarchy of need theory in 1943 ( “A Theory of Human Motivation”.)
“After physiological and safety needs are fulfilled, the third level of human needs is interpersonal and involves feelings of belongingness. This need is especially strong in childhood and can override the need for safety as witnessed in children who cling to abusive parents.
According to Maslow, humans need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance among their social groups, regardless if these groups are large or small. For example, some large social groups may include clubs, co-workers, religious groups, professional organizations, sports teams, and gangs. Some examples of small social connections include family members, intimate partners, mentors, colleagues, and confidants. Humans need to love and be loved – both sexually and non-sexually – by others. Many people become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety, and clinical depression in the absence of this love or belonging element. This need for belonging may overcome the physiological and security needs, depending on the strength of the peer pressure.”
As a woman with wisdom well into my fifties, I’ve learned home is where the heart is! I have been told my whole life that everywhere you go you bring yourself with you! I get that!
In holding that wisdom, my heart desires an external home where I may dwell amongst like-minded people, knowing my body-mind-soul resonates on every level. That is what this journey is all about for me. I wonder if it is for you too!
So I ask my readers, Do you feel you are a ‘mis-fit’ in society? Not a MISFIT but a MIS-FIT (simply you do not feel like you “fit”)
Have you found your home? Do you know where you belong?
These are challenging and important questions for all of us on the spiritual path!
I look forward to hearing your comments on this very deep and powerful topic.
Share your thoughts in the comments below.