I spent my whole life wanting my mother to love me. In my healing I no longer NEED her to do anything. Oh yes, it would be wonderful for her to be kind loving and gracious – but the need has disappeared. Now, I just honor and respect who she is without any attachment to my needs.
I wrote this in my journal in December when I was going through some major healing around my mother-yet another time. Today, I’m able to see the difference between what I felt only a few months ago and what I feel today. The energy is gone. The energy around her is completely gone. What I mean by this is the old energy of need, desire, begging for something that can’t happen. Gone…
I feel peaceful as a result. I feel a sense of completion. I know that I have worked through the energetic patterns that continued to “show up.” I realized it was me that insisted I continue to be present, even though she did not appear to care. I gave her my promise a year ago I would be here for here no matter what and I was going to honor that. Today I recognized the need was all mine. This was my healing process. All I can do is be present to my healing process. My mother has her own process. It’s for me to respect her timing, and to understand and appreciate her healing is just that, “her healing,” With that understanding her process no longer interferes with mine in any way
That’s complete freedom. As a result I feel lighter and at ease.
It has been a steady process of release-slowly, consciously and with complete honesty within myself. I asked myself in every situation, “How is this was affecting me?” I never put any blame or felt anger. I learned long ago it’s never about the other and that has been the greatest teaching I’ve received to date.
It is never about the other-always about the self. Others show up as true mirrors for leaning and ascension…. Hallelujah!
In my book, Unlocking the Invisible Child, and UIC workshops/individual sessions, I speak to the process of letting go of old patterns that no longer serve you to restore complete health and wellness. Below is an exercise from the workshop.
Think about someone that you have a similar experience with.
Acknowledge it’s not about (person’s name)
Acknowledge it’s about releasing the energetic pattern of this belief (identify the belief)
Identify the person that has come into your world to help you to release the energetic pattern still residing deep within.It is then you will be able let go of any hurt and be grateful that they are/have been in your life.