Staying In Tune

Without a doubt we’re in a time of huge transformation. I personally feel the energy swirling around me, being prompted to stay grounded and centered. Not so easy, is it!  It feels like a roller coaster ride.

I’m witnessing to my own heightened awareness, almost on alert to stay present, clear and centered, as I, once again, move through major changes in my life. In acknowledging and addressing the feelings being triggered, I’m (much quicker than in the past) able to release them from my mind, body and soul. My process is as follows: I feel it; release it through crying, physical activity or sharing with a conscious friend, acknowledge the learning and then thank the Universe for another opportunity to clear and heal.

I’m moving through lots of changes. I’m in the midst of finalizing my book, Unlocking the Invisible Child: A Journey from Heartbreak to Bliss, as my mother begins a stem cell transplant for her cancer. These experiences are triggering me, bringing feelings to the surface for my attention: My history, my relationships, where am I to live, and with whom I am to be with, are all up in the air. Only the Universe knows for sure. I certainly do not.

So I sit in that “uncertainty” and once again recognize that all I can do is reside in a place of complete trust. Isn’t that my new way of life. I KNOW the Universe knows for sure and that inner knowing reassures me that all is well.

I am not alone. Many of us are shifting into a higher place- a place that feels unknown and unpredictable. It’s a leap of faith putting our hands into the hands of the Universes’ and release the temptation to know the details of the future. Of course, by staying present, opening and doing our share of the work, we are sending the message to the Universe, “Yes, we understand our life plan, and we’re on board.”

When I see clients I hear their concerns, their plea to heal and to release their baggage.  We all have baggage. It’s takes a courageous person to recognize that baggage needs to be released. I honor each of you as you journey through this process. It’s in that very knowing that shift happens. Never underestimate your level of awareness.

With 2011 coming to an end and as we bring in 2012, may we remember to stay focused on our heart’s desire and how we wish to show up in the world.

Ask yourself these heartfelt questions:

Who am I?  What is my soul ‘s purpose? How do I want to live my life, now? What brings me the greatest joy?

I know when I AM in my joy-I bring joy to the world.

What can be better than that!

Inner Child Excavation

In my practice of Soul Memory Discovery my clients and I identify early childhood “traumas and dramas” that remain embedded in the cellular makeup. We also identify the age and body part (or chakra) the memory is stored in and then energetically release these memories so they no longer interfere or hinder spiritual growth.

It always amazes me how clear and exacting the process is. It’s almost foolproof. At this point, the “work” is what I call an excavation of the soul-inner child work on an energetic level, which is deep and powerful. Together we journey to the core and pull up the feelings that remain locked in the cells causing dis-comfort or dis-ease. Whether the client’s manifestations are physical, emotional, or spiritual, they all agree on one thing-there’s an energetic root to their feelings and actions requiring further exploration.

My own personal experience validates this and my book, “Unlocking the Invisible Child: A Journey From Heartbreak to Bliss, speaks directly to it.

When I began to do inner child work on an energetic level, I physically (on a vibrational level) felt the intensity of these events. I always knew I had feelings around certain traumatic events in my life, but never realized the depth of pain I continued to carry within. This was a huge part of my transformation and healing.

As I openned to the healing process, I wrote a poem that helped me to voice out loud a willingness to release any residue of those childhood traumas and dramas and reclaim my life as an adult. I would like to share this poem with you in hopes that it will help you to empower yourself,  reclaim your child and be a joyful adult.

“Little Laura”

Oh my sweet little Laura

so much fear you carry within.

Older Laura understands

why you are hiding out……….

never quite sure of where you are……..

never quite sure of the fit……….

never belonging………..

afraid to belong………

never sure if it is real………..

not knowing who you are………..

and the feelings that move you so deep inside.

The longings for tenderness and loving-kindness

the desire for touch and passion.

The fear of touch and closeness

all spun together in a tangled image

of wants and desires.

So lost in a world of ungraciousness and fear.

Not wanting to call it home-

and yet not quite knowing how to move on.

Little Laura, come out- it is safe

I will caress and sooth you

as a mother would.

I will love you and comfort you my little one

and hold you with gentle tenderness

as I sing to you

and together we will feel the

“letting go” of this burden.

2005

Discernment

Of late I have been witnessing everyone around me experiencing major choice points in their lives. I see this in clients, friends and family. It’s clearly a time for the Universe to test us, making sure we are track with our divine plan.

I myself was riding quite a few waves-actually it felt more like tsunamis. During this time, I had an overwhelming desire to be still and listen deeply to my inner voice. The overall theme for me was discernment.

As I now enter the next chapter of my life I know I am to stand tall in my vision, clarity and desire. It’s indeed another grand opportunity to stay centered in my highest knowing. My book,Unlocking the Invisible Child: A Journey from Heartbreak to Bliss, is close to publication and I know I will be challenged to show up differently than before. People will ask me to do it their way and it’s for me to stay in my integrity and align myself with my soul knowing-nobody else’s. This process of discernment has allowed me to separate the now and past life bleed-thru, helped me to identify the friends and colleagues that I choose to play with and make decisions that is for my highest and best.

The greatest gift we can give ourselves in discerning what is ours and what is not. All we have to do is get quiet, give space to the unfolding, and listen, listen, listen, to our heart song. We will be given many opportunities for this clearing process to occur and for that I am truly grateful.

The Importance of Grieving Past Life Bleed-Thru

I recently experienced another opportunity to engage in cellular clearing by grieving a very strong past life-bleed through. Until a few weeks ago I wasn’t even aware how deeply I “held onto” feelings concerning a particular person in my life, and how the energetics of a past life continued to govern how I showed up in the present moment. He was deeply imbedded in my cellular make-up. When I met him, I immediately knew we had a past-life connection (actually many past lives) but it was this particular lifetime that continued to hold a charge. When I first did some Soul Memory Discovery to understand this dynamic, it was clear that this lifetime I was to walk away from him, but never quite understood what that really looked liked. We clearly came together to heal what was unfinished.

A year ago I woke up in the middle of the night in tears after having a vision of this man dying in my arms. I knew I had absolutely no power to save him. My beloved was gone. It was clear from the energetic intensity that we had a strong, loving relationship and it was a terrible loss for me.

In time, it became more apparent how deep the cellular connection actually was and how I never fully grieved the loss. I decided it was time to “go back in,” fully discover what was lingering and what it really meant to walk away.

In this new awareness, I grieved the loss-deeply grieved the loss on a gut level, crying from my heart as if he had died in my arms today. I recited the customary prayer in the Jewish religion and literally “buried” him, visioning myself shoveling dirt upon his coffin. It was uncanny how real it felt.

With this clearing I removed any cords and old energetic “attachment” that remained from this lifetime. I recognized the message about walking away was indeed about leaving behind the bleed-thru of hurt, guilt, pain and grief, not literally from him. This clearing opened the door to be present to the relationship we have today. In doing this work, I’ve set myself free to love and honor him and myself.

It’s so important to clear old business, what we call past life bleed-thru and live in the is-ness of what’s here now. No one needs to carry extra baggage that no longer serves us on any level.

It’s been a few weeks since this experience and the turn-around is remarkable. I am grateful I was guided to complete this process.

The Truth of Who We Are

I would like to share a writing done by Ben, age 22. Knowingly, he has been on the spiritual path for about five years. As a seeker, he continues to expand his consciousness so he may live his hearts desire and soul purpose. I found his writing heartfelt and courageous and I believe his words will resonate with others, young and old.  Ben has given me permission to post it on this site.

“I finally can see the way it’s always been, the need for peace starts from within.”

Only now do I understand that there is no job for me. Only now do I understand the difference between quitting and giving up. I need to share my story with honor and integrity. The real story.I want to be real for all the lost souls who need something real.

I also know that there is a certain responsibility that I will have to take on in this world, as I truly learn to leave my entitlement behind . I want to be one with the things around me who bring me love. I want to show them that this world was here before us, that we are only here now, and that is something to be grateful for.

I never want to hurt anyone or think that anyone is mine.

Love is divine, and I am not. I need to leave it up to the divine to choose who comes into my life.I don’t want to throw stones against the wind. I want the wind to guide me through the beauty of nature that’s here for me, as I take it in with my heart, not my mind. I want to be superior to no one, because there is no one who can’t shine light on me.

My mother and my father represent the people who gave me the opportunity to have wisdom through experience, so I need to have the wisdom to love them back. I never want to be alone because there is too much love to share.

War is not the answer because babies cannot fight one another.

I want to share my story because I need to let it go. I need to share my story because it gives me purpose, the same purpose that we all share-to let each other know that we are one, that we can help and love one another.

I now know that I cannot change the world, but I can inspire others to want to make a change from within. I now know the only thing I can change is the way I share love with others, because I have now changed the way I love myself. I want to share my freedom with everyone that wants to hear it, see it, and feel it, because it isn’t mine, because my freedom is free as well.

I’m going to love this life the way a tree loves the rain, and I’m going to love this life with a fire deep inside of me, like the fire that the sun creates for the sand. I recognize that the ones who love me never mean to hurt me, but only to teach me that the love I hold onto can expand.

 But more importantly, I must use this wisdom, this power of love, and know never to be afraid of anything but the true soul that I am, and that will be the greatest gift of freedom a free man can receive.

Ben  Duffy

Age 22

Transmuting Old Energy

Once again I was given an amazing opportunity to transmute the energy of suffering into joy and gratitude.

At the age of twenty-five my thumbs became paralyzed. As part of reconstructive hand surgeries, thirteen years ago my surgeon placed a wire in the second joint of my right thumb, fusing the bone, stabilizing my finger into a position which would allow me to have a better “grip” while using a pencil or fork.

Over the past few years I’ve had a bump on the incision line.  At first it wasn’t painful and physicians thought it was a cyst or a wart and three times I had the bump removed only to resurface again.

In the past year as it became increasingly painful and irritating, I knew it was time to take it to the next step.  For me this was not a coincidence.  I put the pieces together.

My personal belief was that the wire, deeply embedded, holding my thumb in a locked position, was asking to be set free from any external/internal binding.  Further more, on an etheric level, I believe I am asking the Universe for clearance of any restriction in my thumb so it’s given the opportunity to move naturally.

With this belief in place, I visited my hand surgeon who confirmed through an x-ray that the wire was directly below the site and causing irritation.  With the assistance of his colleague in Northern Virginia, I was able to make an appointment to have the wire removed.

Last Wednesday my friend drove me to the hospital to have the wire removed.  The hand surgeon said the knot in the wire had broken off thus causing the problem. Bingo!  The wire is now removed.

This is not why I wanted to blog this experience. All of the above was simply to provide background information. What I would like to do is share the emotional process for me.

I arrived at the hospital for the procedure- an environment very familiar to me. I put on the gown and the blue cap on my head and laid there for an hour before they rolled me into the OR. Doctors and nurses come by, ask questions, and left me alone to rest. I lay there as memories danced inside my head. I actually traveled back to my very first experience in the operating room- 1971- as the loneliness and fear I felt then bubbled to the surface.  This time I was light and joyful and having fun looking at the changes in the hospital gown itself.

At that moment I recognized the choice I had-to suffer or not to suffer.  Now this has nothing to do with actual pain.  Of course it would be painful-the doctor was digging into my bone and removing a foreign object.

Suffering is so different from pain.  That day it became apparent to me how for so long I had been attached to the suffering and stories of my past.  It was an illuminating moment for me.  I honored myself for the stories I needed to hold onto then and acknowledged how I transcended that energy as a result of my healing.

I felt blessed and full of gratitude that I was given another opportunity to witness the old vibrational pattern and embrace the new. No stories, no feeling sorry for myself, no need for attention.-just the relatively simple removal of what no longer serves me (the wire) and move on with my life. Simple and sweet.

An hour later I left the recovery room with a smile on my face and a song in my heart.

Peaceful Heart

Definition of SEQUELA

1. an aftereffect of disease, condition, or injury

2. a secondary result

Although my hands may have sequela of the physical dis-ease

my heart does not!

It is about the energetic source not the physical manifestation.

I learned the word sequela when I was studying occupational therapy-it’s a medical term.  I have always liked the word-not sure why-but I did. Now I understand.

Today, I look at my arms, my hands, and I’m reminded of a dis-ease which manifested in physical form. I SEE it clearly. I have the sequela of bone fusions and rigged up tendons in my upper extremities as a result of 15 reconstructive tendon transfers. I have atrophied muscles in my lower arms and hands. Everyday I am reminded of what my journey was about.  I’m not sure if this will change as I continue my healing path. I’m not even sure it matters anymore. It use to matter-big time. When I started my healing process all I wanted was to have “normal” hands…..

When I realized the healing was in my heart I dropped the need to have “normal” hands and reveled in the gift of a healed heart.. Nothing else really matters. I know I am healed and perfect just the way I am. There is no hiding, no fear, no intrepidation about being fully present. I AM who I AM and I live in gratitude and joy for the remarkable change that occured in this lifetime-physically, emotionally and spiritually.

The GIFT is to live with a peaceful and joyous heart and truly love the beautiful being you are from the inside-out.

Looking Outside the Box

Yesterday, while attending a meeting for holistic health providers in Westchester County, New York, I met two wonderful people.  Scott and Patricia are making a documentary on patients with A.L.S. (Lou Gehrig’s disease).  This disease is very close to my heart-it was tossed around as a differential diagnosis when I was a teenager. Many years later as an occupational therapist, I treated several patients with the disease. These patient’s were a mirror for me: since at that time, their prognosis was my prognosis.

As I viewed the documentary my eyes filled with tears and triumph for those courageous people who are willing to look outside the box and explore alternatives. These patients believed that they had to “do something” to regain some control over their lives. They began to look for alternative ways to live with A.L.S. They were not going to settle. This simply wasn’t good enough. I know the story well. When I exhausted the medical world I had two choices: open to alternative healing methodologies or be disabled the rest of my life.

Isn’t it about time we take back our personal power and reclaim our lives? I believe we have that ability. How can I not? We begin by living consciously, being fully aware of what we do-the food we eat, where we live, our relationships, how we show up, how we re-act to triggers and stressful situations, and free ourselves from childhood traumas and dramas. Most of all we have to love ourselves enough and believe we deserve to live the life we want. That’s why the first line of my upcoming book, Unlocking the Invisible Child: A Journey from Heartbreak to Bliss, is having the courage to love yourself enough.

When we love ourselves enough we send the message out in the Universe that we deserve to be here. When we live from that knowing we can effect change. I bless every individual who has the courage to believe in him or herself and make that change. It is not easy-it’s a journey that takes tremendous tenacity, courage and trust in the unknown. But it’s worth the ride-I am a witness to that process.

By making the shift you have bestowed a tremendous gift upon yourself. You have begun to empower yourself and listen to your “soul dance”-not someone else’s.

It’s always our choice to be co-creators of our destiny. Keep in mind that healing shows up in many ways. I have learned from my own story, healing my heart was first and foremost.  My physical vessel would not of healed if my heart didn’t heal first.

That much I know!

Getting Out of the Way

Isn’t it time to get out of the way and empower ourselves without the need to disempower others. When we make decisions for someone else, or judge someone else’s decision, than we are in fact disempowering them. I have learned how important it is to allow everyone to live their truth even if it doesn’t resonate with me. Who am I to make judgment about another’s path? The reality is I only have control of mine.  And for me, this means everyone-including children, lovers, spouses, friends. I personaly believe we do more damage than good to our self and the other if we get in someone else’s way.

So I ask myself, what’s the energetic root behind my behavior or actions? How pure is it? Are these behaviors and actions representing my own need rather than the need of the other? The truest form of compassion entails allowing the other to be their authentic self.

With children, sometimes we truly believe we are offering guidance and parenting when, in fact, we may be squelching the child’s gifts and authenticity by BELIEVING we know better. I have learned how important it is to stand back and witness our “children” in THEIR truest form.  The question to ask is “are we simply transferring our needs onto them, insisting our knowing is better than theirs.” We must discern what is OURS and what is THEIRS.  Of course this doesn’t mean not to parent-it means to parent consciously.

Loving your child, offering support and boundaries is all we really need to do. Making them live with our rigid old paradigm  will not serve the children of today. In fact, it serves no one.

With our lovers, spouses and friends it is the same. We spend so much time trying to control their behavior as if it is a direct reflection of self. Or maybe because we have been brought up to lay blame elsewhere. The more we cherish these relationships as a mirror of ourselves, the more each person becomes authentic in their being-ness.

So free yourself and everyone else you know- let go and get out of the way. Then sit back and watch relationships thrive.

Heal Yourself-Heal the World

Everyone’s talking about healing the world-everyone!

How important it is to be in the process of healing ourselves before we can bring pure healing energy to the world.  We always bring “ourselves” to everything we do. If we are still entangled with emotions that project negative energy, than we will bring negative energy everywhere we go.

When we are around someone driven by ego we can physically FEEL their hurt inner child spilling out, needing love and gentleness to surround them, making them feel safe.  All we need to do is reach out with love and compassion and know that’s where they’re residing.  The gift is that it also releases any emotional trigger from your hurt inner child as well.

So go inside and feel your energy-what are you projecting to the world? You will know. Once you know you will be able to change and be-come the softer, more divine energy you are meant to be.

In order to bring compassion, peace and healing to the world we live in, we must BE compassionate, peaceful and healed inside ourselves. We are our energy. Feel the vibration you are. Are you at peace? Are you at ease with yourself inside-out or is there a disconnect between your personality self and your divine self?

It’s simply about awareness and the willingness to let go of the drama of old energy and pain and move into the flow of pure divine energy and grace.

Yes, our world desperately needs healing. So let’s commit to our own healing!

Healing is Greater Than Anything Else

Healing is Greater Than Anything Else

I have begun to move from a place of sadness and suffering

To let go and trust in the universe:

To take the risk and do the journey;

To travel from a place of fear and loneliness

To a place of compassion and awareness;

To recognize that life will give me the necessary tools,

Providing me with mirrors to witness who I AM.

My body needs to heal from the inside out;

My body knows the truth.

It is the body that holds the suffering and injustices

Deep within my cells.

My body is tired of the charade of perfection

And is asking for my soul’s compassion to heal.

My body has had enough,

My being needs to heal.

As I continue to take the steps to empty and open,

I invite myself to reach out to others,

Those who may not be able to ask for my openheartedness.

With a depth of knowingness, I need to do this to heal,

And healing is greater than anything else.

2006

Distractions: Short But Sweet

I now recognize the distractions I have attracted in my life.  It’s interesting, unbeknownst to us at the time, how we ask for distractions to slow us down, to give us breathing space as we forge forward on our spiritual journeys. The key is to identify what the distraction is and understand why it has been brought to us at that particular moment. I’m grateful for this clarity so in the future I will have a deeper knowing why I attract certain people and situations into my life. Everything we are presented with offers us a wonderful opportunity to learn and grow. Thank you Universe.

Tumor of Illusion

I recently experienced a monumental breakthrough when I released an old pattern that I wasn’t even aware of-at least not in this context. A couple of weeks ago I was questioning a recurring pattern of behavior in my relationships. It was then that I recognized I had been living out the legacy my biological father left me. You see, my biological father passed when I was three years old and for most of my life I held onto the illusion that if he were alive I would be safe, loved and cherished. I kept this illusion alive in my YEARNING for men to love me and make me feel safe. Not surprisingly,

I found myself in relationships that were not necessarily for my highest or best.  In reality I was repeating an old pattern of keeping the illusion alive. Once I recognized this I was able to honor the loss and the yearning and put it away for good. I realized that I had always made excuses for my father’s erratic behavior (he was dying of cancer) since I have a tendency to see people in their highest self.

Even with all my healing, this pattern of yearning was deeply embedded in my cells.  Intellectually I was aware, but it was only when I got to the core of the matter that I fully and completely identified and released this behavior from my body and soul.  I feel like I dropped a huge mass that was lodged inside me. I graciously thank everyone who contributed to this process of this huge release……

Surviving or Thriving: A Choice Point

So many of us know what surviving looks like but how many of us know what thriving looks like?  How would we get there? What do we need to say? What do we need to do in order to make thriving our new program, our new belief system?   That’s a really good question. I was on a phone the other day doing a session and we talked about the fact that she knew very well, as I do, what surviving looked like.  I asked her to have the courage to go deep within, get quiet, and identify what it feels like to thrive. How does it “sit” in your body? I asked her if this is what she wanted to put out to the universe. If you want to change your cellular makeup, you must relinquish your old belief patterns and start seeing yourself as a “thriver” not a survivor. Giving up the survivor story takes courage and determination. You have to trust that you can be more than what you have always been; that there is a bigger purpose and you will get there. It takes work and perseverance, but it is worth it! Go for it!

Another Form of Healing: Past Life Completion

So what does it feel like to truly love someone, truly feel the “other” resonate deeply in your soul and yet, at the same time, be fully aware that this is not meant to be a beloved relationship in this lifetime?  The fact is, the feelings I am experiencing are simply an opportunity for completion of a past life journey.  The tug to be with him is stronger than my mind, my logic or common sense. It is an energy that propels me towards completion and my mind does not interfere. Anyone ever experience this phenomenon?

I know a man who resonates deeply in the core of me. It’s not about falling in love-it’s pure unconditional love that I feel for this particular person. It’s been a confusing journey. I know he isn’t my beloved partner (in this lifetime) yet I love him and desire him.  What I am learning is just how powerful past life karma can be as well as how to embrace this beautiful opportunity to complete that which wasn’t completed before. I am taking the time to finish what needs to be finished so I can move on with grace and stay true to my path.  As I continue to be shown clarity, I am better able to “learn and discern”.

In order for me to do this, I must reside completely in “my higher self” otherwise I would personalize the situation, which would cause pain. This is not a journey for the mind, ego or personality! It is a journey for the pure hearted.  It’s not about me or the “other” in this lifetime-it is about the bleed thru from our life together in a previous time.

I have been gifted a grand opportunity to work through unresolved core issues by meeting this man. How grateful am I.

By staying in our microscopic truth we are better able to discern who shows up for resolution-a vehicle for completion- or as our beloved partner in this lifetime. It is all about learning and boy what a learning and healing experience this has been! So much gratitude for that special man who showed up at the perfect time!

Witnessing the Joy of Healing

I had a wonderful time last night speaking at the Ray of Healing Church in Falls Church VA.The topic was on Witnessing the Joy of Healing: Sitting in a Place of Joy and Gratitude. I spoke about relinquishing past trauma’s and drama’s and allowing one’s self to open to a world of health and wellness. I  shared my personal journey with hopes that it will ignite a spark in someone else to heal whatever pain/suffering that remains deeply imbedded in their cellular makeup.

It’s about listening to the deepest part of your soul. Your soul always knows the truth of who you are. It’s the personality self that gives us trouble and makes life complicated.  It is human nature to experience suffering in our lives. We make decisions based on what we “think” we’re in control of and what we’re not. The reality is we’re in control of everything. You simply have to know you are the co-creator of your life. I had the opportunity of learning this firsthand. Just listen to your heart and follow your inner wisdom and watch grace step in and the path to wellness unfold.